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TAXI CAB - NIGHT The back of the cab is filled with even more bags and boxes. The young man gets out and confers with a shady looking guy on the corner. THE GONG SHOW Chuck Barris is being sniffed in the crotch by a large dog. We pull back to reveal we're in a darkened, messy hotel room.

The meter in the cab is at thirty-five dollars and change. Slow motion sparks and shards of glass shoot toward the camera.

MOTHER I bet you would like to be a mommy some day, wouldn't you?

His mother lifts the little boy to her breasts and presses his face against them. He leads the children in "Happy Birthday Dear Chuck" as young Chuck beams.

BARRIS (CONT'D) Phoebe's no Walter Page, huh, Tuvia? Suddenly Barris punches himself in the head, flops down on the unmade bed. BELLHOP Well, the people in 917 found a bullet lodged in their wall. Barris finds his pants draped over a chair, pulls out his wallet, holds some more money out to the bellhop. GONG SHOW An excerpt from The Gong Show (reenacted). We watch a fat man recite Hamlet, punctuating his soliloquy with loud belching noises. The cab driver waits, listens to staticky reports in a foreign language on his radio.

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